16/05/2022

The Underground Marketer Podcast

Episode 56 – Wired for Success with Edmond Abramyan

The Underground Marketer Podcast
The Underground Marketer Podcast
Episode 56 - Wired for Success with Edmond Abramyan
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 Achieve Success in Business by Shifting Your Mindset

In today’s episode, I welcome Edmond Abramyan, founder of a 6 figure wholesale and distribution business and the author of the soon-to-be-released book Wired for Success. The book will be published on the 1st of June and it’s for anybody who feels stuck in their life. Throughout this book, Edmond shares his experiences and life lessons. His goal is to help you find your own purpose and live a freer life. 

3 Big Ideas 

  1. Things are not happening to you, but for you. Take ownership of your life – it’s yours! Otherwise, you’ll run out of time before you know it. 
  2. Anger and dissatisfaction are the fuel that powers the engine of change. Think about what you want to change in your life and start taking active steps to achieve that. 
  3. Trauma is not something that happens to you but within you. If you want to move forward with your life, you need to heal your trauma and learn to let go of trapped emotions. 

Show Notes 

[01:16] Edmond introduces himself. 

  • Before he started his company, he was working for a start-up as a software developer/manager. 
  • He was not satisfied with the money and the schedule. 
  • He was motivated by his desire for freedom. 
  • Initially, he felt hesitant about the idea of opening his own business. But he quickly changed his mind after giving it some thought. 

[04:07] Take ownership of your life. 

  • There was not a singular thing that helped him achieve success, but a series of steps towards this goal. 
  • Money was his main motivation for starting his own business initially. But once he reached that goal, he needed to find a purpose or meaning to his life that was bigger than himself. 
  • You need to take complete ownership of your life. Things are not happening to us, but for us. 
  • Commit to your goals and to the lifestyle that you want to build.  

[11:35] Be willing to adapt. 

  • A lot of times, we mistake opinions for facts. 
  • We assume that our ideas about life and about ourselves are the absolute truth. But they are subjective and false. 
  • You need to learn to be flexible and adapt to changes. 

[12:18] Our beliefs shape our actions. 

  • Our perspectives on life govern our behavior. 
  • Our beliefs influence our choices and our communication. 
  • For example, if you think that you are annoying or boring, then you’ll find it harder to talk to other people. 
  • These negative beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies. 

[15:00] How to get over your fear of failure. 

  • Failure is a part of the journey. The sooner you can accept that, the easier it gets. 
  • You need to start by reflecting on what you believe that failure is and ask yourself why. 
  • It’s a failure when you give up on your goal. If you keep trying, you’ll eventually succeed. 
  • If you’re committed to your destination, failure is just another part of the process – a stepping stone. 

[16:30] Fairness can be a roadblock to assuming responsibility. 

  • Some think that when they achieve what they want, that’s fair, and when they don’t, that’s unfair. But this is a very immature worldview. 
  • If you always blame other people or think that life is unfair, you’ll never take ownership of it. 
  • In order to let go of this idea of fairness, you need to be self-aware and change your perspective. 
  • It’s a trauma response and an example of victim mentality. Trauma is not something that happens to you, but within you. 
  • You need to heal and get comfortable with discomfort. Activities like working out or yoga can help you immensely by also providing community support. 

[22:37] You can help people by simply listening to them. 

  • Being able to talk about your feelings and sharing your problems with someone who genuinely listens would make anyone feel understood and accepted. 
  • By engaging in conversations with others, you can both learn to see life from a different perspective. 
  • Ultimately, always talking about your problems and never doing anything concrete to solve them will get you nowhere. 
  • You are the master of your own destiny. 

[25:35] How long does it take to eliminate our conditioning? 

  • Edmond thinks that it normally happens gradually but that people are also capable of immediate tremendous shifts. 
  • A person can receive an insight that completely shifts their perspective and causes a major change in their beliefs and worldview. 
  • However, for the most part, it is a commitment to slow and steady changes in habits. 
  • It depends on the individual and their willpower. 

[29:07] People who suffer from depression often lack motivation. How can they change their lives? 

  • They need to experience the anger and dissatisfaction that makes change happen. 
  • These individuals often suffer from feelings of shame or fear, so trying to feel angry about their situation can power their engine of change. 
  • Being angry at your life can motivate you to change, but at some point, it has to stop, otherwise, it becomes hurtful. 
  • Try to channel that anger into doing something productive, like starting a business. 

[31:55] Anger is the fuel that powers the engine of change. 

  • There are many people with the skills and expertise to change the world, but they are being held back by their fears or beliefs. 
  • You need to start by figuring out what you want out of life and create goals that align with that purpose. 
  • Make a list of things that anger you and things that you love. If you can manage to bring these things together, that’s how you’ll find something that can drive you forward and also push you from behind. 
  • Position those fears. For example, a fear of the unknown is a fear of the future. Try to put that fear behind you by thinking even further about your future and your goals. 

[34:55] How to achieve your goals. 

  • You need to be pushed by something but also have something to look forward to in the future. 
  • That something can be a family, a lifestyle, freedom, etc. 
  • There needs to be both a push and a pull. 

[36:32] Figure out what you want out of life. 

  • The obstacle to finding out what you want is probably just mental resistance. 
  • Instinctively, we all know what we want, but our conscience is drowning out those desires. 
  • We have an idea of what our life should be that may be limiting us. 
  • If you still think you don’t know what you want, experiment. Try out different things and figure out what you like. 

[38:02] Edmond talks about the right mindset in business. 

  • His book Wired for Success, which will be published on the 1st of June, is about this topic. It will teach you how to master entrepreneurship and live life on your own terms. 
  • It will teach you how to eliminate your conditioning and thrive beyond your dreams. 
  • The book challenges the modern-day idea of success and how our life should be. 
  • Ultimately, the right mindset is about being self-aware and flexible. 

[40:30] The story behind the book. 

  • After going through surgery, Edmond started to think more seriously about the meaning of life. 
  • He felt that something was still missing from his life. 
  • He decided that he wanted to help others eliminate their social conditioning and also contribute to a positive change in the world. 
  • He is not a guru and he does not have all the answers. All he can do is share his own experiences and hope that people can learn from them. 

[43:00] Who is the book for?

  • Anybody can benefit from reading this book. 
  • It is especially for those who feel like they are stuck in an unwanted situation and are in need of clarity.

[44:10] Edmond’s top resources and practices for entrepreneurs. 

  1. Journaling – incredibly impactful. 
  2. Breathwork – a significant game-changer in day-to-day life; check out the Wim Hof Method. 
  3. Meditation – in various forms, including exercise. 
  • All of these practices can help you get a sense of ownership of your life. 

[45:35] How to release trauma from your body. 

  • Disclaimer: Edmond is not a professional. 
  • His advice is to work on yourself, whether that involves therapy, journaling, meditation, breathwork, exercising, reading self-help books, and so on. 
  • Therapy can only help you to the extent that you’re willing to help yourself. If you’re not open to change, therapy will not be effective. 
  • Examine yourself and think about what you need most. Become aware of the triggers in your life and how you can eliminate those trapped emotions. 
  • Practice sports such as yoga or martial arts. These activities integrate both the mind and the body and can help you become more disciplined. 

[50:30] Identify the trapped emotions in your body and set them free. 

  • You can do this by figuring out why you feel stuck in your life. 
  • Once you do this, the trapped emotions will sort themselves out. 
  • It all comes down to eliminating what’s holding you back. 
  • If you experience intense fears or procrastination, this can point to unresolved trauma that you need to heal from. 
  • Emotions need to be experienced, not buried, if you want to let go of them. 

 [52:30] Edmond’s closing remarks. 

  • Go out there and lean into the fear that you’re experiencing. It’s a liberating feeling. 
  • If you’re curious about these topics, read his book. 

Recommended Resources 

Wired for Success by Edmond Abramyan – release on the 1st of June 2022

https://businesslifetactics.com/ – Edmond’s website

Full Transcript 

Read The Full Transcript

Introduction    00:00:03    Marketing, explosive growth, and revolutionary secrets that can catapult your business to new heights. You’re now listening to The Underground Marketer Podcast with your host Tudor Dumitrescu, the one podcast devoted to showing new businesses how to market themselves for high growth.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:00:25    Welcome to the underground marketer. This is the place where we deliver the real truth about marketing and explore big ideas that can help new businesses thrive and grow into big ones. I’m your host Tudor. And today, it’s my honor to welcome Edmond Abramyan. He is the founder of a six-figure wholesale and distribution business and the author of the soon-to-be-released book Wired for Success. Welcome, Edmond.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:00:55    Thank you, Tudor. Thank you so much for having me here today.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:00:58    That’s awesome. I mean, why don’t you start by sharing a little bit about your story and how you really got started in business and as an entrepreneur with our listeners? Because the story I find very frequently has a lot of lessons for our listeners.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:01:16    Yeah, absolutely. I think that’s a great place to start. So it starts, I think, from what I’ve found, uh, to be similar to a lot of other entrepreneurs just starting out is we want more freedom. We want more money. We want more control over our time. And that’s pretty much how it started with me. I was working a job and was dissatisfied with the way things were going. Wasn’t making the money I wanted to make. I wasn’t having the freedom and flexibility over my time over my schedule. And I remember distinctly one day I was sitting around talking to a buddy of mine and I was letting him know about, you know, all these changes that have been happening. You know, I had just moved out at the time. So I was on my own and, you know, I had a lot more responsibility and he was telling me he just dropped in a line.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:02:04    He goes, Hey man, why don’t you, uh, start a business, uh, buying and selling these products that we all use, which were at the time hookah supplies. And at the time I was, uh, you know, immediately resistant to the idea, big changes and all that I flashed into my mind and I was hesitant to agree with his idea. But interestingly enough, later on, that night I was laying in bed and I kind of caught myself with that resistance. And I was wondering, you know, why am I so hesitant to growth? Right? Because that’s what he was suggesting at the end of the day. And so I kind of just thought about it a little bit and realized that’s time to make a decision. If I’m going to continue going the same way I’m going now, or if I want to take a risk on myself. And that’s what I ended up doing the next morning. I drove down after work to the city office and I registered for business and yeah. Took things from there.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:03:01    That’s very interesting. I mean, you mentioned that you were working a job. What sort of job were you working at that point?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:03:08    So at that point I was working at a startup company as a half software developer and uh, half manager of the office. I’m sure you’re familiar when companies are just starting up. There’s no real one role that the people in there take, they’re kind of just doing whatever needs to be done. Sort of like how an entrepreneur, who’s just starting out a business.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:03:30    Mm-hmm <affirmative>, I mean, that sounds quite valuable. The skills that you’ve learned there, it sounds like it’s really positioned you in a way to start a business afterwards, wearing many hats and doing a lot of different roles. I mean, um, from the people that I usually speak with on the podcast who are entrepreneurs, I see sales roles being very frequent just before they started a business. In your case, it’s really something that’s sort of entrepreneurial in itself, helping a startup basically grow. Can you tell us a little bit about how that experience basically prepared you to start your business?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:04:07    Yeah, absolutely. I think I would say life itself kind of prepared me for it, not just that singular job, because you mentioned sales. And before I was in this job, before I had this job, I actually had a ton of different sales position, uh, whether it was door to door sales or telemarketing, or, you know, just online sales through eBay and Amazon and Craigslist and all sorts of different platforms. So I think I would have to say it’s really just been a series of steps that had led me to starting my own business. Not just that one singular job, not to say that that one job didn’t help a ton. You know, I learned a lot from the founders. I learned a lot from the experience itself, how, you know, companies get started and how they grow in that initial phase. Yeah. I would definitely say it’s been quite a journey <laugh>  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:05:02    I wanted to ask you as a follow-up on that. What do you think are three key insights, which, you know, if you could share with somebody in a similar position to you at that time, meaning that they worked a job, you know, they got some experience and they feel that there’s a lot more out there for them, but they’re not quite sure about what it will actually take for them to start a business successfully. What are three key insights that you would share with them that you think are critical for their success?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:05:36    Oh, that’s a great question. Tudor. I think it’s actually better if I fast forward in my journey a little bit and come back around to that question because when I started the business, I believe I looked back, I started because I wanted to make more money and I, money is great, right? I mean, money is a great tool. It, it allows us so much conveniences and luxury and things that we wouldn’t have if we didn’t have money. But if I were to go back, I think I would structure things a little bit differently. And let me tell you why. After I had built my business and made the, I guess, change in my lifestyle that was looking for, there was a lot of how do I put it my life just wasn’t what I expected it to be right on. Things on paper looked really great. You know, I had built this successful company. I had this freedom of time. I was able to do all the things I wanted buy. Most of the things I wanted to buy, take care of the people I wanted to take care of. But inside me, there was a lot of turmoil. I guess you can say there was a lot of questions unanswered.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:06:41    You know, I went from waking up to a loud, annoying alarm clock only to deal with corporate politics, to waking up and going to sleep practically when I wanted, uh, working with whom I wanted, how I wanted. And for the most part, when I wanted, uh, you know, for someone like me who grew up in a family on the lower end of the socioeconomic hierarchy, it was a big deal. You know, I was living paycheck to paycheck and now I had this incredible convenience of structuring my day, how I wanted to. And, uh, the biggest shift was the freedom in time. It gave me, and that’s what allowed me to really examine my life and the decisions I was making and where I was headed.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:07:21    It didn’t feel so great. You know, I think that the best way to describe it is like existential dread, where you really are lacking a sense of meaning in your life. You accomplish a bunch of goals. And I think other entrepreneurs may be able to relate to this, you know, when, when they hit these big goals that they set for themselves, and then they sit around and, you know, after the goals accomplished, they, that initial phase of happiness wears off. It’s like, okay, what next? What do I do now? And that’s kind of where I was at. It wasn’t until I had a big injury that kind of brought all this stuff to the surface. I was competing at a international Brazilian jujitsu tournament and I had a bad fall and I, I tore my shoulder. I was a labrum in my shoulder and, you know, I had to go through intensive surgery and the recovery process for that and all of that.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:08:15    But it wasn’t until one evening when I was laying in bed while, well, actually I was sitting up in bed. I couldn’t lay down because it was so painful to lay down to where all this stuff really started coming to mind sitting in my room alone. I was dark, had the covers over me. I had a pillow behind me, a pillow under my arm that had just been operated on. And I was really in angst. You know, I was wondering where my life was headed. I had this idea of me being a business owner of me being this martial artist and this idea of being a successful person and all of that. But, you know, when I was really looking at my life, I was just not happy. I was not happy with, you know, where I was with the injury, with the recovery process I had to go through and all of that. And that’s when things really started to register, I sat down and thought of how things got to be to where they were. 

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:09:14    And to answer your question, the first realization I came to was that we have to be willing to take complete ownership of our lives. And I mean, every aspect of it, our health, our finances, our relationships, our business, our goals, everything, the things we think are good, the things we think are bad. Uh, it really doesn’t matter what our opinion is on the matter. What matters is that there ultimately are to deal with. And we have to accept that. We have to learn to see these things that we think are happening to us as actually happening for us. In other words, they’re giving us golden opportunities that if we let it, they can really launch us into a new level. And so we just have to really be able to get into a space where we can say yes to everything that comes our way. And that’s what I realized when I finally made enough money to give myself time to think. I understood that my life was mine to live and everything was really all up to me.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:10:13    And I think the first thing anyone starting out needs to realize is that, you know, you’re living your life in your shoes and no one else is going to replace that. No one else is going to come in and do the things you wanna do and create the things you wanna create. It’s all up to you. And if you don’t take ownership, it’s time is just gonna go by and sooner or later, you’re gonna realize, like you spent all this time and effort on things that didn’t really matter to you. So that’s the first thing I would suggest to anyone in that beginning position is to really take ownership what you want and where your life is, and really sit down and decide what it is that you want out of life, not just the monetary aspects, but how you want your day to day life to look like what type of environment do you wanna be in?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:11:06    What type of emotions do you want to be experiencing throughout the day? For the most part, I mean, we can’t obviously control all of the emotions that we experience and all of that, but we can more or less dictate where our life goes. And from that we can dictate what we’re going to experience. So the first thing I would say is take ownership of your life and really decide that you’re going to commit to your goals, commit to the lifestyle that you wanna create. The second realization I came to that night was the fact that we have to be willing to adapt. You know, I think a lot of time we can, you know, we, we get these ideas and we think that those ideas are the low and behold, the truth, you know, right. This idea is what it is. And, you know, whatever that idea may be, whether it’s an idea of who you are or where you want to go or what you want to do.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:11:59    It’s really just that it’s an idea in our minds, it’s in our imagination and that’s all it really is. So we have to be willing to accept that. And we have to be willing to adapt, adapt to circumstances, adapt to situations, whatever life brings us. We have to be flexible. That’s really the second thing. And the last thing I would say is to realize that our perspectives on life are really what governs our behavior. You know, the beliefs that we hold influence our everyday actions and our communication and all of that. So if I were to go back and look at that phase in my life, the three things I would come back to is number one, take ownership, number two, be adaptable. And number three, really examine yourself, examine your beliefs, examine the meanings that you assign to certain life situations and examine really who in essence you believe yourself to be.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:13:02    There is a ton of valuable stuff here. So, I mean, thank you for sharing all of this. And, um, your journey is really inspiring really. I mean, it sounds like you’ve built your business and then you discovered that you weren’t really happy with how things were and you reevaluated things and made them better basically, and basically changed not only your business, but also who you are. So I mean that, that’s quite inspiring for a lot of people out there for sure. Would you say that if you had the chance to go back in time and do it again, that you would approach things differently?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:13:39    I think about quite often Toor <laugh>, you know, I think there’s a part of me that would wanna change certain things, but really when I take a step back and think about it all, if I were to go back and change, even the slightest thing, I would not be where I am today. I would not be the person I am today. So I think I would have to say that I really wouldn’t change anything,  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:14:02    Which means that you are basically happy with how you are today, correct?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:14:06    Yeah. Yeah. You could say that. <laugh>  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:14:08    That’s awesome. That’s awesome. All right then. So, I mean, you mentioned the three things, right? Take ownership, be willing to adapt and be willing to change your perspective when necessary. A lot of people, I will start with the first one, a lot of people and a lot of entrepreneurs when it comes to ownership and responsibility, a lot of them struggle because of the ideas they have about fairness. You know, for example, they would think that what’s happening to them is not fair. And this not fair is a way of them telling themselves really that it’s not their responsibility and it can’t be their responsibility. So how can somebody go about letting go of that idea of fair or not fair so that they can move beyond that and just assume responsibility and try to make the thing as good as it can be.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:15:00    Right? Oh, that’s a really powerful one that I know hits home for a lot of entrepreneurs failure, I would really have to say is just a part of the journey. And the sooner that a person can accept that, uh, the easier it’s gonna be to deal with things, it really comes down to what we believe is failure. Ultimately, in my perspective, I don’t think I’m failing until I give up. Right. You know, if I’m constantly trying at something, if I have a goal in mind and I’m pursuing that goal, I’m telling myself I’m committed to this one out one outcome or one accomplishment, whatever it may be. I, I don’t think it’s a failure until you really give up on that. Right. Let’s say I’m trying to make a sales. Uh, I have a sales quota. I’m trying to meet with my business. You know, if I make a few calls and they don’t work out and I decide I’m gonna give up, you know, that’s really the only time I failed, you know, if I keep trying and I keep trying, you know, there’s a ton of people out there, right?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:15:57    There’s a ton of different prospects out there that I can reach out to and, you know, discuss my objectives with. So mm-hmm, <affirmative>, I think I, it would really have to be, it comes back to that commitment. You know, if you’re committed to your goal, if you’re committed to the lifestyle that you want to create for yourself, uh, failure is just, uh, another part of the process. It’s just another stepping stone. So it’s really comes back down to a matter of how we’re looking at it. You know, the meaning we’re assigning to the so-called failure.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:16:31    I’m also very interested in not failure so much as in fairness, because a lot of people have an idea of what’s fair and what’s not fair. And for example, they may try very hard to get a deal and be very close to getting it for their business. And then for some reason, you know, some reason it doesn’t really make sense. They don’t get it. And they suddenly feel that things are unfair, you know, and somehow they’ve been, something was taken from them that should be theirs. So that idea of fairness, I found that to be a roadblock, to really assuming responsibility for everything and taking ownership of things, because if you always blame other people, and if you think that life is unfair to you, you are basically blocked from taking responsibility and from seeing what role you play in the situation. What I’m really trying to get at is how can somebody go about to let go of that idea of fairness. That’s holding them back in this case.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:17:37    Ah, I see fairness. Yes, I’d have to agree with you on that. Fairness can really stop a person in their track. Their idea of what’s fair and what’s not can really stop a person in their tracks. I would have to say that fairness, a person’s worldviews of what’s fair and what’s not, is really just coming down to their perspective on things and their perspective on things may be influenced by some sort of past trauma, because really that’s what we’re getting at, right? This is a, a victim mentality. I’m a victim to circumstances. I’m a victim to mm-hmm, <affirmative> my environment. I’m a victim to, so, and when I say trauma, I don’t want people to misunderstand me. Trauma isn’t necessarily the things that a person experiences in their environment, right? When we say trauma, the average person might think of, you know, some sort of, you know, domestic abuse or sexual abuse or some sort of, you know, war experience or something like that.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:18:39    But trauma isn’t really what happens to you. Trauma is what happens within you. So it could be something as simple as let’s say, you are in grade school and you draw a, you do your first few artworks and you show it to a couple people and they make fun of you for it. Right? Mm-hmm <affirmative>. So if you are experiencing some sort of shame or some sort of dissatisfaction with how you performed and there’s nobody to really recognize those emotions with, and there’s no one to really communicate those emotions with somebody to acknowledge your inner experience, that kind of stuff can get stored within us and really influence the ways that we see the world, which is what you’re talking about, how things should be. The idea of fairness is really just that it’s what I think a certain situation should come out to. And if it’s not, that’s automatically going to be me thinking that it’s not fair.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:19:44    Uh, if it is, I’m going to think it is fair, right? So to let go of that, I think it is a lot of, it takes a lot of inner work. You know, we’re talking about, you know, years of conditioning that I’ve taken place within an individual. And, um, science is really coming out and telling us that, uh, these kind of experiences are not only stored in our memory, but also within our body. So these traumatic experiences need more than just a perspective. I mean, ultimately it is going to be a big perspective change, but it’s going to take more than just an idea. You know, I think personally I think that these kind of views, these kind of beliefs really need to be worked through in the body as well as the mind. So I would have to say that to let go of those experiences, we need to find within us an ability to really push past discomfort, push past resistance that we have within ourselves.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:20:50    Mm-hmm <affirmative> practices such as weight lifting or yoga or martial arts. Uh, I think those kind of practices really help a person, uh, not only because of the physical experience that a person can go through, but more so in, in situations like yoga and martial arts, they also provide a community of support, you know, of other individuals that are on the same path as you, that you can relate with. And having those experiences, having that network of support, I think can really help a person not only diagnose but work through those problems. So yeah, I would, I would have to say that it’s, it’s just pushing into, well, not pushing, I don’t think that’s the right word. I would, I would say leaning into discomfort, you know, leaning into what you think is not fair mm-hmm <affirmative> And the more a person does that, I think, uh, they start to really entertain different worldviews and different ideas and they become a little bit more flexible to who they think they are and who they think the world sees them as, and ultimately their place in the world  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:22:01    Mm-hmm <affirmative> makes total sense. Right. So, I mean, you mentioned the stuff about the network of support and really the importance of that. And in all my work with people and interacting with people, I’ve often had the experience of not really doing anything, but just listening to somebody. And at the end of the, the discussion, they pretty much say, oh, thank you for that. That, that was really helpful. And I wanted to ask you, what exactly do you think that is about what sort of help did they receive by me listening to them?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:22:38    That is a funny situation, right? When you’re thinking at help, what, what do you mean thank you for help? I didn’t really do anything other than sit here. <laugh> yeah, I think, uh, it really comes down to the person going back into their own mind and acknowledging certain things through that conversation, through that medium, and the fact that they’re able to share it with somebody. I, I think it really gives them a sense of acceptance and a sense of acknowledgement for what they’re going through and just the non-judgmental approach of you sitting there and listening kind of allows them to work through their own situation because really we kind of come to the conclusions on our own, right? Like we could tell a person all sorts of different things, but being that we’re using a medium, uh, language for our communication, you know, words can only go so far, you know, each person has their own interpretations for certain words.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:23:33    Right? So for example, if I say gum, there may be a person out there thinking of chewing gum mm-hmm <affirmative> and a dentist might be thinking of the gums of our teeth, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative> this is just one example of how certain words can trigger different meanings for your different individual. So really it’s going to take a change within a person and that change is, is really gonna be up to them. You know, if they’re ready to experience a shift, they’re going to experience the shift, whether you are telling them a bunch of different things, or you are just listening, it isn’t gonna make a difference. I mean, obviously if you’re telling them a bunch of things and you’re kind of criticizing them and you’re making them feel greater shame and greater discomfort, that’s going to add more roadblocks to their journey. But let’s say you’re trying to tell them exactly what they need to do if within themselves, if they’re not ready to kind of make that shift, I think it’s gonna be very difficult if not impossible for you to make that shift for them. So just by sitting back and listening, I think is a, is a powerful thing to do for an individual  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:24:44    Mm-hmm <affirmative> do you think that it’s, it’s the fact that if they hear themselves listen to nonjudgmentally that sort of allows them to explore their issues also in a nonjudgmental fashion that helps them?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:24:58    Yeah, I, I would say so.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:25:00    Mm-hmm <affirmative>, I mean, I always find, I found those kind of situations. Very interesting. And that’s exactly why I wanted to ask you. You’ve also mentioned about, uh, conditioning and how trauma can embed that conditioning very deep within somebody’s being. And obviously that conditioning is formed as you, as you said over many years. So the question I wanted to ask you is whether or not that conditioning can be dropped at once in a moment, or must it always be through a gradual process,  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:25:35    You know, Tudor, I think it typically does happen through a gradual process, but that’s not to say that people aren’t capable of tremendous immediate shifts. Uh, it could sort of be like how thunder strikes, right? Uh, thunder comes from nowhere it’s sudden, and it surprises people. So in just the same way, it’s very possible that a person can receive an insight that completely shifts their perspective and causes a major transformation in their beliefs and in their worldviews, which consequently would cause a major transformation in their identity and in their behavior. So I don’t wanna discredit that fact and say, it’s always going to be a gradual process.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:26:18    But I think for the most part, it is a commitment to slow and steady changes in habits. It’s really coming down to our habits, right? Because our, our day to day behaviors, that’s really what the trauma is influencing. So mm-hmm, <affirmative>, there’s times where people just, you know, they get into huge accidents and they immediately decide they make a major life shift, but then there’s other times where people are constantly experiencing dissatisfaction with their lives and they say, Hey, this is, uh, enough, I’m gonna do my best and do a little bit better each time. And they make changes that way. It’s slow, steady changes. So it really depends on the individual and how really, how fed up they are with where they are in life.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:27:08    Mm-hmm, <affirmative>, it, it makes total sense. So, I mean, would you say if they’re more fed up and, um, they’re very dissatisfied with their, where they’re at, then they have a lot more energy available to make that change faster.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:27:22    I would agree with that, right? Because that dissatisfaction can kind of be transmuted into energy to create something new. It could be transmuted into, you know, instead of that mental battle that we have with ourselves or that the person has with themselves, they’re expending a ton of energy arguing with themselves in their head when really that energy can be put into creating change. Mm-hmm  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:27:47    <affirmative>, I mean, this is fascinating because one of the things that I notice very often about people who struggle with mental health issues and I mean, mental health issues are very common amongst entrepreneurs. Actually. It’s just that a lot of us don’t speak about them, but for example, things like anxiety or depression are common amongst entrepreneurs and a lot more prevalent than amongst the common population, which is probably also due to the fact that entrepreneurs just get exposed to more and greater stressors than most other people. So with regards to depression, we mentioned earlier, and you were telling me how, um, anger can be, or basically dissatisfaction. I mean, to me, it’s a form of anger, right? You’re upset at the current situation and you want it to be different. Somebody who is depressed, they lack that anger, right? They lack that dissatisfaction that gets them to make a change. So how can somebody who is in that position where they basically don’t have a very strong desire and they’re not very dissatisfied, how can they get themselves to the point where they’re actually super dissatisfied and they say, I’m ready. I need to make a change.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:29:07    Right? If only we can get a bunch of these people that are stuck in those situations to experience that anger, to get that change to come about. But Tudor, I would have to say that when it comes to that sort of dissatisfaction, there’s some deeper levels than anger. And I think anger would be a preferred place than some of these other levels. Uh, these other levels that I’m talking about are, are like guilt or shame or mm-hmm, <affirmative>, um, you know, an intense fear of, you know, moving forward or fear of uncertainty or the fear of unknown. I think if an individual can pull themselves into that phase of anger, that’s where the energy, I think really would kind of boil up within them to make those changes. But below those levels of anger, the, the experience of shame or guilt or fear, I think there’s very little energy to play with at those levels.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:30:02    If I could just make a suggestion to anybody experiencing anything less than anger, I would say first anger is a good level to go to. You know, if you can build yourself up to be angry at the life that you have right now, the life that you’re experiencing right now, I think that’s a, that’s a good place to shoot for. But O obviously to use that anger towards productive ends, you know, not to use that anger in any further disarm to yourself or to anybody else to transmute that anger into something productive, such as creating a business or creating any sort of creative endeavor, whether it’s a business, a book, a course, or even a conversation, something as basic as having a certain conversation with somebody, you know, I think I would have to say that the person needs to find within themselves that anger to be able to have that energy and until they can come up to that, building that energy within themselves, I think there’s a lot of inner work that needs to take place.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:31:03    Mm-hmm <affirmative>, I mean, this is very interesting. I mean, obviously the lower emotions, you mentioned some of them, I mean, probably the worst are guilt and shame. Those are quite restrictive. A lot of people who want to start a business though, they they’re very skilled, right? They have a lot of skills, they have a lot of experience, but somehow they still can get started. And it’s exactly what you mentioned earlier, that fear of unknown. So how do we get somebody who is in a comfortable position in the sense that they’re making, they’re not broke, right? They, they have a decent job. They have a decent amount of money, but they obviously would like more, but at the same time, they’re afraid of the unknown. What sort of steps would such a person need to take to develop that kind of energy that you’re just talking about and would actually enable them to make the shift?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:31:54    Right. That’s a good one too, because I too know there’s a ton of people out there with the skills and expertise to really make some really great things happen in this world. That for some reason or another, they’re just not, that’s a tough one for someone experiencing that situation. But I would say that they would really need to examine what they want outta life and not only create goals for themselves, but create goals that align really with some sort of greater desire person needs to be driven by something that they believe is greater than themselves. So what I mean is if they can take a step back and really look at what really pisses them off in life, what really just triggers them and what really makes them angry. And then if they make a list of that and they come back and make a list of all the things they absolutely adore in life, you know, the things that they love, the things that really light them on fire. If the person can find a way to bring these two things together into some sort of endeavor, I think that’s where they will really find not only something that pulls them forward, but something that pushes them from behind as well.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:33:08    Mm-hmm, <affirmative> that, that’s very interesting.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:33:10    Yeah. If I could, if I could just add one more thing, I would say it’s kind of positioning those fears. You mentioned the fear of the unknown, right? So that’s like a fear that’s in front of a person, you know, I’m looking ahead and I’m seeing not exactly what is an ideal situation in my mind. Right? I’m looking in front of me and I’m seeing all that, well, what could happen if you take that fear and you actually put it behind you, right? So if you think, what is my life going to look like 10, 20, 20, 5, 30 years down the line. If I do not do the things that I want to do, you know, that way you kind of take that fear that’s in front of you and you put it behind you and you magnify the fear that’s behind you. And it’s kind of constantly like a dog chasing you. It’s constantly pushing you to go forward and to act and to do the things that you wanna do, because you realize if you don’t 10, 20, 25, 30 years, you’re gonna be way worse than where you are now. And if you’re dissatisfied now, you know, it’s, uh, it’s not gonna look pretty down the line. Right. <laugh>  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:34:16    Mm-hmm, <affirmative>, mm-hmm <affirmative> I mean, that can be a very powerful thing. I mean, I’m, as I’m sure, you know, I mean, desperate people will resort often to desperate measures. Right. And I mean, it’s fear that gets people desperate. And a lot of people have become great achievers due to harnessing their fears, so to speak at the same time. I think that even if you’re successful like that, but you’re always driven by fear. There’s something sort of lacking there, right? I mean, the there’s some unsatisfaction, which is going to always follow you like a shadow, or like you said, like a dog, do you think I’m wrong about that?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:34:57    I think it can be. It can be. And that’s gonna come back to kind of aligning with that, so to speak higher, higher purpose that you have for yourself. Mm-hmm <affirmative> so not only, so let let’s go back and play with that example. Not only am I going to be chased by this dog, that’s behind me, but I have to have something in front of me that I’m actually looking forward to. Mm-hmm <affirmative>, you know, for some people that’s a family and children and, you know, a nice living environment, whether it’s a house, a nice fence in the front with the, you know, a bunch of puppies running around for some people, that’s the ideal for other people that have more values based on, uh, complete freedom, maybe for them, it’s a lifestyle of travel and being on being in different continents and exploring different sites. And, you know, so really it, it has to be both. We can’t just have something pushing us from behind, but we have to have something that we’re looking forward to as well, whether that’s an ideal lifestyle for us, whether that’s something that we wanna deliver to the world, whatever it is, there has to be both a push and a pull. 

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:36:04    Mm-hmm <affirmative> makes sense. And I mean, I can sort of understand how both of them are actually working together and you need both to actually have a meaningful and fulfilling life. I’m just wondering what sort of advice would you give to people who simply don’t know what they want? You know, they’re just unsure about what they actually want. What sort of practices or activities would you recommend to them to just get a clear sense of that?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:36:32    I would have to say that if a person doesn’t think they know what they want, I think there’s really just a bunch of mental resistance in the way. I think within every person, there is this little voice that speaks to them. It kind of tells them what they should be doing with their lives and the conversations that they should be having with the people that are important to them and the changes that they need to make. But often I think what happens is on a conscious level, we kind of, and this kind of comes back to the whole trauma conversation. We kind of drown out that voice, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative> so we drown out that the guidance that’s really within us, that inter compass that is pointing us to the direction that we should go. So if somebody is in a situation like that, the best thing I can advise is just to experiment. Right? So anything that comes to mind, if you think that you wanna try out this, this acrobatics class, go try it out for a week or two mm-hmm <affirmative>, you know, what’s the worst that can happen. You had a new experience, you know, you learned something about yourself, you learned something about in this instance acrobatics. Right. So really I would just say, I would try to encourage the person to try different things.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:37:43    These are fantastic insights. I mean, um, a lot of the conversation that we’ve had, and obviously I think that this goes to one of your beliefs, probably about the importance really of mindset when it comes to entrepreneurship and success in business. Can you tell us a bit more about that?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:38:02    Yeah, absolutely. Mindset. Uh, you know, I actually wrote an entire book on this recently. That’s going to be published in, uh, just about a month coming June 1st, called wired for success, practical philosophies to master entrepreneurship and live life on your term. And it’s all about mindset for the entrepreneur. You know, as we’re coming up, as we’re growing into our teenage years into adulthood, there’s a lot of conditioning that takes place. That kind of makes things a little bit more difficult for especially entrepreneurs. O obviously for everybody cultural conditioning, isn’t exclusive to business owners, but to everybody, but being that entrepreneurs are kind of people that go out there and carve out their own path in life. This kind of conditioning, I believe affects them a little bit more.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:38:53    Mm-hmm  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:38:53    <affirmative> so that’s what the book kind of challenges is. It challenges the modern day ideas that we have around success around our ideas of ourselves and the way we should ultimately the, the way we live our lives. So I think mindset is incredibly important and it all comes back down to that third principle, which you asked me about earlier in the beginning of the conversation, which is, you know, examining yourself, examining your lifestyle, your ideas of who you are, the roles you play in society, and really to figure all of that stuff out and to see how it would align with your goals, with the life that you wanna create. So that’s what I would say in terms of mindset for entrepreneurs.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:39:44    Mm-hmm <affirmative> thank you for sharing that. And I mean, thank you for sharing about your book. We’re going to put a link down in the show notes. I mean, as soon as it’s published, we’re going to add that link. Will there be any way for people to pre-order the book? I just wanted to ask you 

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:40:02    As far as pre-orders go we’re we’re holding off on pre-orders and we’re just going to allow people to purchase immediately upon release and yeah, I would definitely appreciate that link for the viewers here today.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:40:15    That’s awesome. That’s awesome. So, I mean, uh, can you tell us a bit more about what actually drove you to write the book in the first place and number two, who can most benefit from the book and who should basically be getting it?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:40:30    Yeah, sure. It all comes back to that night in bed. After the surgery, I was really contemplating where my life was headed and what I wanted to create for myself, because I was thinking back and I was like, Hey, you know, I, I built this business. I changed the lifestyle that I wanted. I left, I made enough money to leave the job and to kind of have that sense of freedom, but I was still dissatisfied. So what was I going to do? And it’s funny how our conversation got to this point, because we kind of covered all, all of those things that led me to write the book. You know, I thought about mm-hmm, <affirmative> all the things that I really didn’t like in society today, which was the prevalent conditioning that we’re all fed, uh, you know, we’re all programmed into. And I thought about what I wanted to deliver to people and the changes that I would like to see in society.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:41:27    And that’s kind of what led me to write the book. I should also mention, you know, a lot of people that write books like these, you know, it’s, it’s kind of common today in the online culture, you know, they kind of position themselves as these gurus or people that have all the answers I wanna right at the start. I wanna say that that’s definitely not me. I don’t have all the answers. All I have is the experiences that I have and, you know, the things I’ve studied and, you know, that’s, uh, I, I make the best use of that. You know, I’ve realized that I can’t really lie to myself and, you know, that’s, uh, what I use to kind of impart these ideas in the book and to the people I speak with and so on. So, you know, if, if the book helps somebody in some way, I’m eternally happy for that, but I, I don’t think that it’s going to essentially be a, a problem solver.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:42:20    I think that, you know, it, it can give a person certain pieces to the puzzle of the problem that they’re experiencing, but I, I don’t think it’s going to be the end all be all, you know, the person after reading needs to still take action, they need to lead into that discomfort that we were talking about. They need to really examine themselves and their lives and their situation. So I think, uh, yeah, I would, I would have to say that was really the reason I wrote the book is really to just, I give people some of food for thought and maybe if possible fuel for change  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:42:57    Mm-hmm.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:42:57    <affirmative> and to answer your second question of who could most benefit from the book, obviously being an author, I want this book in front of as many people as I can. So I would say anybody, but <laugh> really mm-hmm <affirmative> if we’re gonna drill down into it, I think, you know, all the people, the questions that you asked me about those certain people, you know, the people that seem to find themselves stuck in certain situations, you know, entrepreneurs that are experiencing some sort of roadblocks, or they’re not finding some certain clarity that they’re looking for. I think those people could benefit the most from this book.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:43:36    Mm-hmm <affirmative> that makes sense. I mean, thank you for sharing that. One other question that I had, so obviously you’ve created this resource, really the book to share your experience and the lessons that you’ve learned about mindset and all the topics that we’ve discussed with people. So if they want to get more in depth in those subjects that we’ve covered in the podcast, they should probably buy the book. I wanted to ask you personally. Now, if there are also any resources out there that helped you in your own life and in your own journey, if so, if you could share some of them.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:44:10    Yeah, absolutely. There’s definitely some practices that I’ve implemented into my own life, both now and in the past that have helped me tremendously. And a few of those resources I would have to say is number one, journaling, I think is incredibly impactful. Number two, breath work, I think has been a significant game changer in my day to day life. And number three, I would have to say meditation, and I’ll add a fourth, which is exercise all these things. These methods, these resources that I’m talking about are really about just getting a day to day handle on a life on day to day, a handle on day to day life, right? Mm-hmm <affirmative> um, you know, we talked about how trauma and how certain perspectives could really influence a person to kind of experience those feelings of being stuck. And I think all of these practices that I just mentioned could really help a person with all of that  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:45:08    Mm-hmm <affirmative> right. So, I mean, this sort of goes back to the idea that we discussed earlier when you mentioned that trauma is not just in the mind, but also in the body. That’s one of the ideas that we didn’t really get a lot of time to explore. So I want to take a moment to ask you about it. Now, if you can detail a bit more about how that works and how those practices that involve the body can help a person actually release that trauma.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:45:36    Sure. I think it’s important that I mention on this topic of trauma, that I’m not a professional, and if anybody is experiencing some severe depression or anxiety that I, I would highly advise that they do speak to a professional out there, but just for educational and conversational purposes, I would have to say that society today kind of looks at this situation and tries to rectify it with just therapy. I think that’s the first thing that people should start with, but I think that the idea going around is that’s the only thing that people should be doing. And I think that it kind of goes deeper than that. And I don’t think that therapy needs to be the only alternative. I think meditation and journaling are great substitutes to that as well. But again, mm-hmm, <affirmative>, there’s different degrees to this, you know, if somebody is, uh, experiencing some severe emotion, I think they should definitely speak to a professional.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:46:33    However, if, if their lives are like you mentioned earlier, their lives are comfortable and they’re okay, but they’re just looking for something more. I think practices like meditation and journaling could really serve as that bridge that a therapist could serve. Now in, in terms of dealing with these experiences in our body, dealing with these emotions that could be trapped in our body. I think breath work is the first thing I would recommend to somebody that is experiencing that breath work really allows the person to kind of take control of their being their internal energy system. And it really allows them to kind of feel in control of that while at the same time letting go. So it’s, it’s kind of paradoxical in that sense, but I mean, if we just talk about the breath for a second, uh, breathing is one of the only things that in our bodily system that we can both control cautiously.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:47:33    And if we let it go, it could kind of run on autopilot as well. So really examining that system within us, I think, is, is important. And I think it can help a lot going into the energy that’s stored in the body. So what I would say is that if there’s a bunch of these trapped emotions in the body, what can happen is that a person could be kind of going through life in a survival mode, right? Like for example, when we let’s say a person is out in the jungle, right? And, uh, they come across a, a big tiger for example, or, or a lion or something, there’s gonna be certain experiences that this person’s gonna have within themselves. That’s going to throw them into a flight or flight, a flight or flight response. And it’s going to be very beneficial in those types of environments, right?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:48:24    The person needs to run away to save their life. Mm-hmm <affirmative>. However, what happens in modern society today, when a person has those kind of trapped emotions and they’re going through life and survival mode, they’re not performing at their optimal level because there’s certain things in their day to day life that are triggering those same types of fight or flight responses. So for example, maybe they’re, you know, let’s say a, a person’s at a, at a job that they’re very dissatisfied with and their manager comes in and asks them about the deadline that they’re supposed to meet, you know, internally that could trigger a fight or flight response within that individual. And what happens is that the muscles tense up and, you know, the blood flows all the way to the legs and it’s preparing the body to either fight or take flight. And, um, those types of emotions, I think, uh, need to be kind of dealt with and breath work, I think really helps with that. There’s really a popular individual online called, uh, whim Hoff, who has a breathing method that he’s been kind of spreading through social media and through different podcasts and different mediums. And I, I think that’s a very powerful method to explore, to kind of deal with these trapped emotions within ourselves. The next one I would say is probably either yoga or some sort of martial art. Uh, both of those practices, both of those disciplines, I think are incredibly powerful to integrate the mind and the body to be able to really deal with those trapped emotions.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:50:05    Mm-hmm, <affirmative>, mm-hmm, <affirmative> makes total sense. I mean, I have two more questions for you. So I’ll start with the first one. So first of all, how does somebody know if he has a trapped emotion inside the body? And he can benefit from things such as breath work or yoga? How does someone, someone basically identify that?  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:50:29    So I think it, it’s a matter of identifying the ways that we’re feeling stuck in life, more so than advi identifying those trapped emotions, the trapped emotions kind of work themselves out. It’s really coming down to identifying the ways that we’re holding ourselves back. Right? So if a person is experiencing some sort of roadblock, or maybe they’re experiencing some severe procrastination or severe fear of uncertainty or something, these are all signals that can point back to a person with unresolved traumatic experiences. So I would have to say to just really examine those worldviews that you hold for that person. You know, if, if you feel that going back to the fairness thing, if you feel that some situation is not fair, uh, really dive into it, what about it is not fair? What about the person that is making it up unfair? Is there another person that is causing it to be unfair and you know, what are the characteristics of that unfairness and really to think about what it is about that situation, right. You know, and how much of that situation is actually true and how much of it is just made up in our head to really just examine those stories, because the emotions within ourselves, they need to be experienced. You know, we can’t really run from that shame. We can’t really run from that anger as much as we would like to, uh, we need to find a medium to explore those emotions and really feel them to be able to let go of them.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:52:09    That makes sense. All right then. So, I mean, thank you for everything that you’ve shared with us. Edmond I wanted to give you one last chance now to basically, if you wanted to leave any other comments, suggestions, or really share any other message with our listeners, please go ahead.  

 

Edmond Abramyan    00:52:30    Yeah. Tudor. It’s it’s been a pleasure. I really enjoyed this conversation. I, I would just, uh, tell people to really go out there and lean into that fear that they’re experiencing. It’s really liberating. What can come out from confronting those situations. And, uh, aside from that, I would just, you know, mention, if you’re more curious about these topics to check out the link below, check out the book and yeah, I would leave them there.  

 

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:52:57    Thank you very much then Edmond to our listeners, the book is once again, wired for success, we’re going to have a link for it. The release date is June 1st. Uh, you’re also going to be able to find it via Amazon if I’m correct, right Ed? Yes. That’s awesome. All right. So thank you then for coming on, it’s been my pleasure. I greatly enjoyed our discussion here. So thank you once again, and for our stay tuned for the next episode. And until next time, remember to keep growing your business and providing massive value to the world. You are the reason why we’re all growing richer. Our freedoms are expanding and we’re all living in greater prosperity. Thank you.

  

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