Episode 55 – How to Handle Stress Before It Affects Your Business

Introduction    00:00:03    Marketing, explosive growth, and revolutionary secrets that can catapult your business to new heights. You’re now listening to The Underground Marketer Podcast with your host Tudor Dumitrescu, the one podcast devoted to showing new businesses how to market themselves for high growth.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:00:25    Welcome to the underground marketer. This is the place where we deliver the real truth about marketing and explore big ideas that can help new businesses thrive and grow into big ones. I’m your host Tudor. And today I’m going to talk about a topic that I’m actually asked about very often, and that’s basically how I deal with stress and how I go about managing stress so that I don’t become overwhelmed by it. And I can focus on actually developing and growing my business. The first thing that I want to say about managing stress is that your mindset is the most important. How you think about what’s actually happening to you, affects the level of stress that you actually perceive, right? So if you think about things in a way that is very negative, right? That’s going to affect the level of stress that you perceive in your situation.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:01:27    So for example, if you decide in your mind that you’ve got to do 101 things in one day, right, it’s natural that you’re going to feel very stressed, right? Because you think that you have to do all of those things. And obviously, realistically, that’s not really possible. And the effect of that is that you’re going to perceive high stress in that situation. My first advice, and the first thing that I do with dealing with stress is to be really focused and become very clear about what is actually most important and what you actually have to do and make sure that that’s manageable. You know, I’m not saying that you should set small goals. Now your goals should be as big as possible, but you should always make sure that it’s manageable and you can actually handle it. And that’s actually very important that you can do that.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:02:21    This is the first thing that I actually recommend to people when it comes to managing stress. It, it all comes down to how you plan your day and how you think about things. If you think about things in a healthy way, then stress is going to be a lot easier to manage apart from that, make sure that you always have time off during the day. Don’t just always be on and doing something that’s directly productive. I do things that are productive even in the time that I relax. You know, I never have time when I relax and I’m doing something that’s completely unproductive, right? So I may be for me reading, for example, in the evening, that’s relaxing. So I’m not I’m, but I’m still doing something productive while I do that activity. So I think that it’s important to think about things this way, right?  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:03:13    And, um, find things that you enjoy, but it still allow you to develop for some of you that may be martial arts. You know, it may be doing a certain sport, something that’s still going to allow you to develop in some way. I’m not speaking develop now just from the point of view of your business, but it’s going to help you develop one area of your life. That’s going to be very important, right? And you don’t want to basically lose that or let go of that because then you’re going to become a lot more stressed. And the actual work that you have is going to be a lot more difficult to manage, right? So stress exists all in the mind and it starts with how we plan things and how we think about things. And it extends into other areas like making sure that we allow each area of our lives.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:04:04    That’s important to us to thrive and we allocate enough time to it. And the time that it deserves, because what happens if, for example, you neglect one area of your life, which is actually important to you sooner or later, it’s going to catch up with you. And it normally catches up with you when it’s actually very, very stressful to deal with it. You know, when the stress of dealing with it is maximum, that’s when it actually catches up with you and you have to go through all the hassle and the pain and everything that it takes to actually deal with it. Right. That’s why it’s important that you try to deal with things in advance and you are actually basically prepared for them. And you keep all areas of your life in a balance. Now, what balance means for you is going to be different from what it means to other people.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:05:00    And it all has to do with your values, right? So for example, somebody can value business growth and not care at all about his family, right? Or, uh, about building a relationship with a woman or with a man or whatever it is, right? So if that’s the person right, for them, it’s not gonna matter much if they don’t have a relationship. And if they, that area of their life doesn’t develop at all, right? Because to them, it’s not important at all. Right. But what matters is that you figure out your own priorities and you figure out what actually matters specifically to you. You know, because once you have that figured out, it’s going to be a lot easier to actually go through everything else and make sure that it’s right for you. It matches with what you actually need. Right? That’s how I think about stress when it comes to dealing with it.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:05:54    There’s a few other advice that I have, namely, for example, sometimes when we become stressed, because we deal with unexpected event and this may be a setback, right? Or it may be something that we haven’t foreseen, whatever it is, it’s something that we didn’t expect. And now it happened. And you can become very stressed when it comes to dealing with that. Typically from my own observations of myself, stress tends to strike most when we have expectations, which are not met, being less attached to your own expectations is going to enable you to be in a more relaxed state throughout if you are a relaxed person and you don’t take your expectations very seriously, and you don’t put a lot of faith basically in them, and they’re not a big concern for you, then it’s a lot easier for you to let go of those things when your expectations are, and actually met and basically adjust to reality without so much energy being expended in the form of stress, when it comes to dealing with stress.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:07:01    I also have other practices that I can recommend to you. I mean, I don’t do it so much anymore, but meditation is really good when it comes to dealing with stress, because basically it allows you to disconnect from it for some time and basically find a new balance. And once you have that balance approach, the work or the problem, once again with that newfound balance, so meditation can be a good tool to deal with stress. Sports are another good tool of dealing with stress, working out, you know, something that’s going to redirect your energy in a different way. That’s also very productive. And I mean, I found that to be productive in dealing with anxiety and with other things as well, because I mean, if your energy goes into something else there’s less energy available for you to actually be stressed out and have an experience of stress response.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:07:58    So I mean, all those tools that I’m sharing with you now, you have to find the ones that work for you. I mean, this ultimately all depends on you and how you react to things as a person. You know, somebody, for example, could get a lot more stressed by having to do sports or workout, but for a great deal of many people, myself included, this is actually a way to relax. Reading. For example, for me is another way to relax for other people. Reading is, uh, super stressful and they hate it. You know, it’s something they have to do and they don’t enjoy it. They don’t find it relaxing. They find it the opposite of that. And finally, there’s one other thing that I wanted to share with you. I also find out that I get really stressed about something when I basically develop an obsession about something, you know, if I become obsessed about the problem and I can’t solve it, this typically happens to me with programming.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:08:51    And I mean, this is why I avoid programming, even though I can do it. And I’m quite a good programmer, I avoid it because if I get stuck on solving a programming problem, I can’t let go of it. You know? And it’s a very interesting phenomenon because I get more and more stressed and it gets to the point where I don’t even eat, I skip my meal, I do whatever it takes basically to solve that problem. I go to sleep very late, you know, whatever it is. So I’ve learned that that’s the case with me and those things become obsessive to me. So I just don’t do programming nowadays, or I do it very rarely or in small amounts where I’m sure that I already know how to do it. And it’s not gonna be a big hassle for me. Right. It’s important that you, you learn about yourself and you figure out what are the things that actually create stress in your life and then figure out if there’s a way for you to avoid those, because that would probably be the best thing that you can do, right?  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:09:48    Uh, you don’t want to put on purpose things that you find stressful in that sense in your life. Now, it’s very important that I distinguish at this point between harmful stress and positive stress, because I don’t think that they’re the same thing. So when I’m talking about managing stress, I’m talking about strictly the harmful kind of stress, for example, working out and exposing yourself to discomfort. That’s also stressful, but that’s a positive stress. So why is it a positive stress? It’s because you willingly take that stress on and you actually want that kind of stress in your life because it’s going to make you stronger. Right? So, because that’s the case, that’s a positive form of stress and it doesn’t actually stress your mind. It doesn’t make you feel bad. But on the other hand, if you have something that’s imposed on you, that you have to do that typically is a negative form of stress.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:10:44    If you know that you have to do it and somebody from the outside imposes it upon you, then it’s a lot more likely that you’re going to experience that as something negative and something to get rid of or otherwise to handle in a different way. So typically with those things, with the negative things, I just try to get rid of them if I can. And if you can’t get rid of them, then the best thing to do is to reframe them, you know, and basically find a more positive way of looking at that situation. You know? So let’s say that you have to attend five meetings today, and there are people who have scheduled a time to buy your services with you. And it’s going to take you like five hours and you test it because they’re one after the other. And it’s going to be very painful and stressful in that way.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:11:30    You can change how you feel towards that, by reframing the situation, you know, and reframing all it means is that you change what you pay attention to. So instead of focusing your attention on the negative and on the pain that you’re going to experience, you can focus your attention on the positive, you know, the sales that you’re going to make and the money that you’re going to make and what you can actually do with that money and with those sales. And it’s very important that you actually do this because it’s going to enable you to not perceive that as being stressful. And it’s a very powerful thing that you can do. The other thing that you can do is to think about the unavoidable stressors that you don’t like as challenges, you know, and once you frame these things as something that’s challenging you and something that you’re going to be challenged by suddenly you are going to be able to deal with them a lot more effectively because you’re going to enjoy dealing with things, right?  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:12:30    If it’s a challenge, it means that it’s something that’s going to make you better. And that’s going to help you basically transform really into a better person, right? Changing the way you think about these unavoidable stressors is a great way to deal with it. And the part from that, it’s just the stuff that we’ve discussed beforehand. Make sure that you have a plan, make sure that your plan is realistic. Try not to be attached to your expectations because it’s just simply rational to be attached to your expectations. There’s no way why the universe and life as a whole should follow your expectations and try to leave a balanced life, you know, like figure out your values. And what’s actually important to you. And then try to leave a life that’s in accordance with those values and make sure that all the values are met in the right proportion.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:13:22    And if you do that, then you are really going to minimize the stress that you feel. And if despite all of this, you still feel stress every now and then, then you can practice things for relaxing, like find the activities that actually relax. You give a, try to meditation for many people in terms of relaxing and getting into a relaxed state and basically lowering the background level of stress that you experience. It can be very, very useful. And basically that’s my advice to you when it comes to managing stress, I’ve dealt with situations which were high stress in my life. And I mean, that’s how I’ve really figured out all these techniques and you can use them and you can apply them and make sure that you get the most out of them. And what I would like to say to finish is that stress is not something that is a big priority to me nowadays.  

Tudor Dumitrescu     00:14:17    I mean, I accept the stress. That is a part of the road towards my goals. I see that as something positive, I don’t have a lot of negative stress in my life, actually stress that I don’t want to deal with. I’m quite content when it comes to that, that’s really the ideal. That’s really where you want to be as well. And if you’re not there, you know, don’t be impatient, but just start working on it. And over time you’re going to get there. I mean, it took me many, many years to get here. So it’s really a journey. That’s really what I wanted to share with you today as usual stay tuned for the next episode. And until next time, remember to keep growing your business and providing massive value to the world. You are the reason why we’re all growing richer. Our freedoms are expanding and we’re all living in greater prosperity. Thank you.